Cartoon farmers listen to night sounds from porch Tim Harman
LIFE CAN BE SWEET: It can be sweet, but only if you sprinkle plenty of sugar over it.

Phil Osifer’s 6 hard-learned lessons on preserving domestic tranquility

Life on the Farm Side: Consider this experience-based advice from Phil Osifer offered at the recent Koffee Klutchers.

Down at Koffee Klutchers, Phil Osifer shared these tips for preserving domestic tranquility and avoiding marital spats and subsequent lawyer visits:

• The “sugar” you’re supposed to sprinkle is guaranteed non-fattening, has no calories and won’t rot your teeth, so use it liberally.

• The Lord gave us two ears and only one mouth. Use ’em proportionately, except when it comes to your spouse. In that case, jack it up to three to one — and pray.

• God created men and women different to keep life from getting boring. Roll with it.

• When a wife asks, “How many times have I asked you to …?”, the only correct answer is: “Was just getting ready to do that.”

• Never try to kiss while eating sweet corn.

• Finally, consider this from 80-something Uncle Herbie: “I still appreciate the feminine form. But in most cases, there’s far more to see than should be seen.” Works both ways, Herbie.

Birdsong is a pen name for a Farm Progress editor.

Hide comments


  • Allowed HTML tags: <em> <strong> <blockquote> <br> <p>

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.